anam cara

I woke up at about 4:30am this morning from a horrible dream and then proceeded to cry for I don't know how long. Makes it very difficult to go back to sleep :/

I requested a ticket for Matt's visit to The Late, Late Show as soon as I heard, which I thought was soon enough, but my status has just gone from 'requested' to 'sold out' and I am quite bummed right now.

*le sigh*

At least my Doctor Who and Sherlock DVDs have shipped. Expected date of arrival: November 12th! (Ryan's birthday)

I also redyed my hair. I'm a brunette once again! For the first time in YEARS my hair actually matches my eyebrows. What a concept.

And Toma is playing Hitler in a play. I'm not sure how to feel about this 0_0

Work is starting to suuuuuuuuuck. She's not my immediate boss, but I think I wouldn't have so much of a problem here if I wasn't working for my stepmom. What's worse is that about a week into me temping here, she moves desks (because she was right under the air conditioning before). Now, she's right next to me.

*le sigh*

But I'm only supposed to be here for another two weeks anyway. I might as well stick it out. God knows I need the money.

Yesterday I went to some high school reunion for my parents and their friends. I didn't want to go anywhere, but I hadn't seen my mom in a while. It was worth it just for the spinach dip she brought. I love that dip. When we were saying good bye, she hugged me. But she was also holding a bottle that wasn't closed properly and ice cold water poured down the back of my shirt. Shit that was cold!

But last night was even better. My dad, sister, and stepmom all went over a friend's for dinner, so I stayed home and had the house to myself. I ordered a pizza, drank diet caffeine-free Coke, had a chocolate éclair for dessert and watched ( Girl With a Pearl Earring. )
(No spoilers under the cut, just the poster for the movie.) Man, I remember that book from high school. The day I saw Mamma Mia!, I went home and had the DVR record anything with Colin Firth. I already watched Girl with a Pearl Earring and hopefully tonight (or soon) I can watch the other movie it recorded, Trauma.

reenacted by Tim Bisley

i want to hurt the people who keep going in and out of the computer lab. the ones who stay in here talk on their cell phones or walkie-talkies (something's going on outside and there are too many people for my liking). i'm trying to do my homework, you wankers. okay, i'm not really getting much work done, but i could be. they don't know that i'm actually reading fanfic and watching YouTube. which i have really got to stop doing. i have a whole lot of shit due coming up in the next few weeks- final papers and whatnot.



and to make things even more stressful, i find out that i don't have a housing guarantee for next year, so i have to start looking for apartments off campus. that's even assuming my dad and stepmom are going to help me pay for that. i don't have any money. i really need to get a job this summer. but i don't have a lot of time to look for one right now.



i really wanted to go home this weekend, even if just to see my mom. but she would have to drive between Daly City and Santa Cruz four times and with her back problems, i figured the best Mother's Day present would be to let her rest. i miss her though. i haven't been home in quite a few weeks now. i am so ready for this quarter to be over. June 13th is when my last essay/final is due. but i want to get it done before that so i can go home early. god, i still have another month left.

i'm feeling a little off- sort of dizzy- but i don't know if it's because i've been staring at a computer screen for so long, a side effect of the antibotics, or stress/headache/whatever. i want to go back to bed. maybe i'll feel a little better if i actually get something done. okay, enough whinging. work.

nauseated

i wish that was a line from a song or something... i really hate having a nervous stomach, have test-taking anxiety, and being a hypochondriac. i just turned in my essay, so that means that i just have one more final left. it's from 4-7 which is good, because i haven't studied yet. i tried to yesterday at Border's with my friend, but i got bored and started doing a puzzle book with cryptograms and i actually solved one! that was really fun actually. but then i got back to my dorm around 8-ish and decided to finish cleaning my room so i wouldn't have to worry about it today. i vacuumed, dusted (that wasn't good for my allergies), finished packing, took the garbage out, etc. i have everything packed now except for my bedding and TV/VCR/DVD player. oh, and my fan, cause it's Santa Cruz and i need air. just when i finished cleaning and decided to study, my little finger on my right hand started feeling weird. it feels almost numb or asleep but not quite. more like if you put something like Icy Hot or Tiger Balm on it. so, being the hypochondriac i am, i had no idea what it was (it didn't hurt, it just felt weird) but i couldn't stop thinking about it. i tried going to sleep because i knew i wasn't going to be able to study but i kept feeling my finger. i even started crying and threw up a couple times because i worked myself up so much. i think i finally fell asleep around 4 in the morning or something, but i woke up around 6:30 AM and i had to turn in my paper around 8:30 AM. my finger stills feels funny. it seems to be moving fine and works. it hasn't changed color or done anything like that. i wonder if i've pinched a nerve? i do that all the time on my left arm, but i don't think i have before on the right. i really just want this day to be over so my mom can pick me up and i can go home. where i can see a doctor if i have to ;) i was also supposed to sleep over a friend's house on Friday, after the free food, but if my finger still feels the same, i can't. i have a hard enough time sleeping when i'm at someone else's house- i become super-aware of my body and anything that can be wrong or just seems a little off- and i won't get any sleep with this. anyhoo... i've really got to start studying for this last final. the problem is i just don't give a damn anymore. but i don't want to fail either. sometimes i really hate my brain.