i think i'm going to be sick

[spacemonkeyluvn]

nauseated

i wish that was a line from a song or something... i really hate having a nervous stomach, have test-taking anxiety, and being a hypochondriac. i just turned in my essay, so that means that i just have one more final left. it's from 4-7 which is good, because i haven't studied yet. i tried to yesterday at Border's with my friend, but i got bored and started doing a puzzle book with cryptograms and i actually solved one! that was really fun actually. but then i got back to my dorm around 8-ish and decided to finish cleaning my room so i wouldn't have to worry about it today. i vacuumed, dusted (that wasn't good for my allergies), finished packing, took the garbage out, etc. i have everything packed now except for my bedding and TV/VCR/DVD player. oh, and my fan, cause it's Santa Cruz and i need air. just when i finished cleaning and decided to study, my little finger on my right hand started feeling weird. it feels almost numb or asleep but not quite. more like if you put something like Icy Hot or Tiger Balm on it. so, being the hypochondriac i am, i had no idea what it was (it didn't hurt, it just felt weird) but i couldn't stop thinking about it. i tried going to sleep because i knew i wasn't going to be able to study but i kept feeling my finger. i even started crying and threw up a couple times because i worked myself up so much. i think i finally fell asleep around 4 in the morning or something, but i woke up around 6:30 AM and i had to turn in my paper around 8:30 AM. my finger stills feels funny. it seems to be moving fine and works. it hasn't changed color or done anything like that. i wonder if i've pinched a nerve? i do that all the time on my left arm, but i don't think i have before on the right. i really just want this day to be over so my mom can pick me up and i can go home. where i can see a doctor if i have to ;) i was also supposed to sleep over a friend's house on Friday, after the free food, but if my finger still feels the same, i can't. i have a hard enough time sleeping when i'm at someone else's house- i become super-aware of my body and anything that can be wrong or just seems a little off- and i won't get any sleep with this. anyhoo... i've really got to start studying for this last final. the problem is i just don't give a damn anymore. but i don't want to fail either. sometimes i really hate my brain.

Comments

[myhappyface.livejournal.com]

*pets* It never fails - when I'm speaking in front of a group or preparing for an interview, my stomach flips the fuck out, even if I'm not nervous.

[spacemonkeyluvn.livejournal.com]

^_^

it's worse when i'm alone. but i ended up meeting my friend and studying with her so by the time the test came, i wasn't really nervous anymore. while waiting for the tests to be handed out, we were talking about good times in high school (mmmmm... cafeteria cookies) :D

and as for public speaking- when i was in 5th grade maybe, i had agreed to read something in front of the school, but when the day came, i made myself so sick my mom had to call the school and say i couldn't do it. even in a class of 18 (my eighth grade class) people that i had known for years, i still got sick everytime i had to give a speech. sheesh :P

[pheral.livejournal.com]

hang on in there, everything is exaggerated when you're nervous! i hate stomach nerves too, they ruin everything that could be fun.

and don't worry about your finger for the moment, if there's blood getting to it there's no immiediate risk, so you can relax. otherwise, it'll probably get better on its own and if it doesn't, you cart it off to the doctor. at least it's an interesting ailment instead of something boring like a cold... i like to catch all the intriguing ones too :P

[spacemonkeyluvn.livejournal.com]

i'm a little late in responding, but thank you :D stomach nerves really do make everything worse *tisk tisk*

the finger's feeling better now. there was no turing colors or swelling or anything, and it still worked, so it was probably just a pinched nerve or something :D

at least it's an interesting ailment instead of something boring like a cold...

i have to laugh at that one because the day after you wrote this, i got a cold XD now i'm keeping up the whole house with my coughing ^_^

[pheral.livejournal.com]

oh no! LOL. oh well, everyone's gotta be normal sometimes, eh? poor thing, colds suck. they always succeed in making me feel utterly miserable, too, which is normally worse than their symptoms.
Drink some hot honey & lemon, and snuggle up in front of some tv.