anam cara

It seems like things are really shitty for people right now. Let me just take a second to give you all a big, virtual hug - *HUG*

Things are quite shitty in my neck of the woods as well, and I'll admit that I've been sort of wallowing in self pity lately. There are a lot of worries with work (as in, I don't know how much longer I'll be working there), I have less money in my account than I've had since I started working (the holidays will do that), stress at home, and just your basic depression. I don't know. I'm still mostly enjoying things, but I don't feel like I have enough energy to share my joy/love. Hell, lately I haven't even been talking much IRL. A happy spacemonkeyluvn is one who doesn't/won't shut up, and I've barely been talking to friends or anybody.

Things that are happy-making:

* I got my first Christmas card yesterday. Thank you, arathesane!!

* ( Another pictures of the Toma/Pi hug, and from a different angle. Toma just looks so happy. )

* This picture taken by Dave Brown (aka Bollo) - 'Lazy lights. Genius'

* NSFW yet still somehow adorable Boondock Saints Q&A in which Norm gets teased for never talking, Sean is a dork and takes pictures of the crowd to show his mother, and they call Billy Connolly but get his voicemail. Oh, and I really want to know if the donut story is true or not.

* Community, especially the tags at the end of the episodes. Abed&Troy are too adorkable for words.

* Adam Lambert's 'For Your Entertainment'

* This Mighty Boosh photoshoot, though I wish they didn't have watermarks :(

* These boys: Kevin looks like a normal boy, Joe looks special (and why that hair cut?), and Nick looks a little possessed there. Bless.



There's probably more but I'm too cold, tired, and meh to think any more. Time for a shower, sleep, and then the dreaded work day. *le sigh*

Oh my God. I was already in a slightly unstable emotional place tonight, and for some reason I decided to listen to Nick's self-titled album he made when he was practically a baby, Nicholas Jonas.

I'm not really one for Christian music. After having gone to Catholic school for most of my life, I have a complicated relationship with religion. As I'm sure most people do. But whatever. The song I was listening to wasn't even really about God. It was about a dying father thinking about his daughter and all sorts of sad shit 12 year old kids shouldn't be singing about.

The point is, between the depressing lyrics and the tiny 12 year old voice, it's almost 1am and I'm crying. And now I'm listening to 'Joy to the World' and crap, he's still making me cry, LOL. Oh fuck it. The whole freaking CD is making me cry. Why am I still listening to it?!

I don't care how ridiculous I am. I just want to hug him. But since I can't, thank God Joe is there to do it for me ^_^

...I have grown WAY too attached to these boys I don't even know.

Alright, I think I'm done embarrassing myself for one evening. It's like a drunk post with no alcohol. I should try to get SOME sleep before work. 'Night kiddies!

I think it's cute how I tried to hold out and pretend like I didn't really like the Jonas Brothers. Not that I was ashamed, but that I honestly thought I didn't care. For a while, that was the truth. But as soon as I found myself watching an episode of their show and laughing, I should have known I was a goner. I mean, really. I'm so easy.

Anyhoo, I watched their live Facebook chat today with my sister. The boys were adorable, as usual. Nick said he has a pig named Joe <3 And Joe stroked Nick's sideburns because someone told him to do it. Kevin also told a story about how, as a little kid, he once stuck that thing in rubber duckies that make them sqeak up his nose and everytime he breathed out his nose it would make the squeaky sound. ILU, Kevin.

After, my sister and I went to the mall where I bought the Rolling Stone special on the JoBros and then we saw Ponyo which is such a cute movie. Again, I'm easy, but I totally teared up more than once during that movie.

I also had a burrito, some cake, and rewatched 'High Noon-ish' with the family, so it was a pretty good day. If I do say so myself.

Woo! Another 12-hour day *eyeroll* And after staying up until 3/3:30am watching the Jonas Brothers movie. You think I'd learn my lesson, but you'd be wrong. I also had another bubble tea, so with all the sugar, caffeine, and lack of sleep, I was whacked out by the end of the day.

< random> I just went to IMDB site for the Jonas movie and you know what the plot keywords are? Brothers / Concert Film / Masturbation Scene / Neo Fascism / ...real keywords... / White Supremacy / Religious Propaganda / etc. LOLWUT? < /random>

Anyhoo, long day at work. Mom picks me up, has mood swing from hell and suddenly hates me / thinks I live a 'carefree life' and don't take any responsibility for my actions. Funny thing is that she is SUCH A VICTIM. She blames everyone else for all her problems. But of course, her main complaint about me is that I'm like her mother and I blame everyone for my problems. Um... no. I don't. She goes off about how I should live with my dad and nobody understands her pain and she hates her good-for-nothing children. It's the same tired shit I've been hearing for years. I could really get into why this is all (or at least mostly) false and how my mom is in need of some serious therapy (seriously - messed up childhood) but I don't have energy nor do I want to waste even more space on my journal than I already have. But let me say this - A couple years ago, this probably would have made me break down crying and send me back into a mild depression. It still annoys the crap out of me, but now I mostly just feel sorry for her. I can't imagine how hard it must be to really think the world is out to get you. I may be a lot of things, but I will never be someone who just complains about how everyone has DONE ME WRONG. That's not to say I won't ever be bitchy and annoyed or that I won't dwell on things. I will. But life has enough suck without adding your own.

That was longer than I wanted :/ Anyhoo, I prefer the William Shatner approach to life (with some minor adjustments):

Live life like you're gonna die. Because you're gonna.

Despite all that, I'm still in a pretty good mood. Part of that is definitely due to -

♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥

I made French toast with bananas foster (sans the alcohol) on top for breakfast. Mmmmm... so good.

I had another bubble tea today with lunch. My momma brought it to my work ^_^

After reading those two points, I realize I really do need to get back to eating better. Whoops! I'm drunk with power. The power to eat without wanting to die 6 hours later. It's a good, but dangerous, power.

I signed up for the Amazon.com VISA and got The Middleman for free! (I need to start working on my credit anyway.) Now I just have to wait for it to be delivered. *waits*

I may have just eagerly awaited/watched a new episode of JONAS tonight. I can't bring myself to be embarrassed though. Not when one of Joe's excuses to not go out is because he has to stay in and trim his eyebrows <3

Tomorrow is my day off. I'm going to watch movies, TV, maybe swim a little, pay some medical bills, organize my bills, etc. My sister is going to the Jonas Bros concert in San Jose tomorrow night and I might be a little jealous :P I told her to take pictures for me. She humors me and I love her for it.

I think that's all that is new with me. I'm going over to my friend's on Friday so I can see her and the baby again. Our other friend is supposed to be coming too, so that'll be nice. Not quite the same get-togethers we used to have, but still fun.