a Picture a Day - Day Twenty-three
Feb. 23rd, 2011 05:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spacemonkeyluvn Tensions are running high in the house and I'm pissed off because I've been helping my mom since her back surgery and while I still am naturally lazy, I've been doing mostly everything around here. My brother barely helps and yet my mom is still able to yell at me and say things like she understands why my brother yells at me to 'fuck off'. He stays in his room practically all day sleeping and playing video games and yet she loves him. Sometimes I do get whiny and I'm sorry. I really am. I get tired and I've been feeling really depressed lately, but I try not to let it show because I know it's hard for everyone right now. And I'd still rather help than have her hurt herself trying to do something she shouldn't. But she still hates me and I really have no idea why. Things have been better since she stopped drinking, but she's still a very angry and messed up person. I guess I fooled myself into thinking that things were okay. So while her and my brother went out for food, I had a mini breakdown and just cried, screamed a bit, and even threw a few things. If I wasn't so afraid of hurting myself, I would have punched a wall or a mirror. Now I'm even more tired than usual, my eyes are getting all swollen, I have a headache, and I hate myself for throwing a temper tantrum.
ETA: Mom said she was sorry and I said that I understand everyone is stressed out. I am thankfully going over a friend's though and I'll be spending the night. I think we could all use some space.
In other news, I've been looking at some other places for baking schools/classes because a full tuition for the Art Institute is a little much. I mean, I'm sure they'd be much more thorough and maybe you'd have better chances with that behind you, but $33,000 is a little scary sounding. Especially since, while I love baking, I also loved archaeology and who knows what I'll end up doing and for how long. But I found a baking/pastry certificate at City College and it's non-credit. Which means it's FREE. I'm too late for the spring classes, but the summer schedule should be up on March 15th so I can see if it's available then. It'll be Mon-Fri 6-12pm which means 6am to noon and while that would kind of suck, at least I'd be out of the house and I'd have the rest of the afternoon free to work or whatever. I still need to do some serious thinking and planning, but the baking thing is sounding more and more plausible at least.
Also, I'm currently in love with/addicted to Jessie J. I've already posted one of her vids, 'Who You Are', but here are a few more (including that one again). Her first single is 'Do It Like a Dude' and she wrote 'Party in the USA' and based on that, you might wonder why I'm listening to her, LOL. But she seems like a genuinely nice person. She writes her own music and I love how passionate she is. She's always smiling while she sings. IDK, I just really admire that. Her music is also very inspiring and has really hit a chord with me. She also sounds great live/acoustic and I can't say that about too many artists these days. Anyways, she's my newest girlcrush and I can't wait for her CD to come out (~5 days in the UK and in the US we get it late April).
My breakfast. Made a health shake with yogurt, banana, strawberries, blueberries, and protein powder for my mom and then tried to mix in some pancake powder and see what happened. Not too bad. Added sliced strawberry and honey on top and a glass on white grape juice on the side :)
ETA: Mom said she was sorry and I said that I understand everyone is stressed out. I am thankfully going over a friend's though and I'll be spending the night. I think we could all use some space.
In other news, I've been looking at some other places for baking schools/classes because a full tuition for the Art Institute is a little much. I mean, I'm sure they'd be much more thorough and maybe you'd have better chances with that behind you, but $33,000 is a little scary sounding. Especially since, while I love baking, I also loved archaeology and who knows what I'll end up doing and for how long. But I found a baking/pastry certificate at City College and it's non-credit. Which means it's FREE. I'm too late for the spring classes, but the summer schedule should be up on March 15th so I can see if it's available then. It'll be Mon-Fri 6-12pm which means 6am to noon and while that would kind of suck, at least I'd be out of the house and I'd have the rest of the afternoon free to work or whatever. I still need to do some serious thinking and planning, but the baking thing is sounding more and more plausible at least.
Also, I'm currently in love with/addicted to Jessie J. I've already posted one of her vids, 'Who You Are', but here are a few more (including that one again). Her first single is 'Do It Like a Dude' and she wrote 'Party in the USA' and based on that, you might wonder why I'm listening to her, LOL. But she seems like a genuinely nice person. She writes her own music and I love how passionate she is. She's always smiling while she sings. IDK, I just really admire that. Her music is also very inspiring and has really hit a chord with me. She also sounds great live/acoustic and I can't say that about too many artists these days. Anyways, she's my newest girlcrush and I can't wait for her CD to come out (~5 days in the UK and in the US we get it late April).
My breakfast. Made a health shake with yogurt, banana, strawberries, blueberries, and protein powder for my mom and then tried to mix in some pancake powder and see what happened. Not too bad. Added sliced strawberry and honey on top and a glass on white grape juice on the side :)
