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Feb. 2nd, 2010 11:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spacemonkeyluvnWe had inventory today so I had to be up at 4:30am and at work by 5:30. Worst part though, is that I could NOT fall asleep. I even got up to take a shower at midnight because trying to sleep was just getting annoying. I've been up all day. I'm tired and sore. I also have to work a stretch tomorrow, which means I'm there open-to-close.
I get home today and think I'll get to just get in bed and watch TV until White Collar and then I'll go to sleep. But life had other plans for me. My mother's been drinking again. And while she was in the kitchen, and I was in bed on the computer (not saying anything), she felt the need to tell me that she's sorry I don't have any life skills and I won't be able to make it on my own. What. The. Fuck. She also goes on to tell me how I'm like her boss (who she hates). Really, mother? Really? It'd be great if you could stop comparing everyone to anyone who you don't like. Sometimes they are very valid reasons. But the whole world isn't out to get you. And this 'I don't take responsibility for my actions' bullshit?
Fuck you.
I have suckiness in my life. We all do. But I don't resort to drinking my problems away and taking my shit out on those around me. I've already succeeded where you have failed. Miserably. I live in less than favorable conditions. But I only ever mention them when you start in on one of your pity parties. I'm living with things the way they are because I know it could be worse right now. I'm trying to deal, but you're not making it easy.
And yes, I am more than a little afraid of moving out on my own and looking for another job. But I have to. I can't live here anymore and the job I have pays next to nothing. I know I should even be thankful I have a job, but staying here isn't going to get me anywhere.
I was already feeling down about myself lately and today especially. I went to try on clothes with my friend, but I've gained back some weight since my surgery and nothing was working. I've been having some stomach problems that I think I actually need to make an appointment about and overall, I'm just tired of this shit. I make nothing. I don't feel like I'm going anywhere. My friends all have lives, but I just go to work, come home, and go on the computer. And I could even deal with that if my family was somewhat supportive or I don't know... not horrible. I would actually prefer living at my dad's. They have issues, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about my drunk mother forgetting to pick me up or being yelled at and put down after a long day at work.
Ya know what? Screw that. Life's not all that bad knowing that
About 17 minutes in, Nick calls Joe and they proceed to be adorable together.
Also, via Twitter: @joejonas Congrats @NickJonas with #WhoIam Coming out today! You are talented,smart,dreamy.. I love you. I'm Proud of you.
♥♥♥♥♥♥ x infinity
White Collar is definitely a happy place right now. Peter/Elizabeth is one of my favorite canon couples and Peter/Neal is just precious beyond belief.
House was also good the other night. House and Wilson being on the same side was nice and the world could always use more Mr. Sprinkles.
And for the record, I'm feeling MUCH better by the time I'm posting this (~3 hours after I started). In fact, I almost want to delete the top part, but I'll leave it.
Okay, last postscript I swear. I got my preordered Nick Jonas CD today! Won't be able to properly listen to it until Friday, most likely, but I have it ;)
I get home today and think I'll get to just get in bed and watch TV until White Collar and then I'll go to sleep. But life had other plans for me. My mother's been drinking again. And while she was in the kitchen, and I was in bed on the computer (not saying anything), she felt the need to tell me that she's sorry I don't have any life skills and I won't be able to make it on my own. What. The. Fuck. She also goes on to tell me how I'm like her boss (who she hates). Really, mother? Really? It'd be great if you could stop comparing everyone to anyone who you don't like. Sometimes they are very valid reasons. But the whole world isn't out to get you. And this 'I don't take responsibility for my actions' bullshit?
Fuck you.
I have suckiness in my life. We all do. But I don't resort to drinking my problems away and taking my shit out on those around me. I've already succeeded where you have failed. Miserably. I live in less than favorable conditions. But I only ever mention them when you start in on one of your pity parties. I'm living with things the way they are because I know it could be worse right now. I'm trying to deal, but you're not making it easy.
And yes, I am more than a little afraid of moving out on my own and looking for another job. But I have to. I can't live here anymore and the job I have pays next to nothing. I know I should even be thankful I have a job, but staying here isn't going to get me anywhere.
I was already feeling down about myself lately and today especially. I went to try on clothes with my friend, but I've gained back some weight since my surgery and nothing was working. I've been having some stomach problems that I think I actually need to make an appointment about and overall, I'm just tired of this shit. I make nothing. I don't feel like I'm going anywhere. My friends all have lives, but I just go to work, come home, and go on the computer. And I could even deal with that if my family was somewhat supportive or I don't know... not horrible. I would actually prefer living at my dad's. They have issues, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about my drunk mother forgetting to pick me up or being yelled at and put down after a long day at work.
Ya know what? Screw that. Life's not all that bad knowing that
About 17 minutes in, Nick calls Joe and they proceed to be adorable together.
Also, via Twitter: @joejonas Congrats @NickJonas with #WhoIam Coming out today! You are talented,smart,dreamy.. I love you. I'm Proud of you.
♥♥♥♥♥♥ x infinity
White Collar is definitely a happy place right now. Peter/Elizabeth is one of my favorite canon couples and Peter/Neal is just precious beyond belief.
House was also good the other night. House and Wilson being on the same side was nice and the world could always use more Mr. Sprinkles.
And for the record, I'm feeling MUCH better by the time I'm posting this (~3 hours after I started). In fact, I almost want to delete the top part, but I'll leave it.
Okay, last postscript I swear. I got my preordered Nick Jonas CD today! Won't be able to properly listen to it until Friday, most likely, but I have it ;)
